Blood Brothers
by clagjanet
Summary: Response the WhiteFeather1965's FB challenge for a story containing the phrase "I said we're safer, not safe" with a 1000 word limit. Usual disclaimers apply.


**Blood Brothers**

They burst into the lobby and raced up the stairs to the Q Bureau, Lee pulling his office keys out as they ran. He managed to get the door open fairly quickly, only dropping the keys once in his rush. The two men almost got jammed in the doorway, Stooges-style, as they tried to get in at the same time. Once in, Efraim flattened himself against the vault door while Lee locked the door behind them and went to drop into his office chair, leaning on his desk with his head in hands.

"I can't believe we did that," he muttered.

"Neither can I," agreed Efraim mournfully. "And neither can she. We're dead meat, aren't we?" He'd gotten up enough nerve to let go of the wall and walk over to sit on the couch.

"Yeah, it's hard to say if we're going to be in more trouble or less the longer we hide from her. Maybe we should have just let her get it out of her system right away. No, she was pretty mad – we're safer hiding in here than we would be downstairs." Lee was running his hand back and forth over his scalp. Efraim knew it was only a matter of time before he began to pace.

"Well we've run now, so that's two things we can't undo." Efraim leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "How could it have gone so wrong? Fred is always the first one there – it's his thing. How did she not know? Everyone knew."

"She's been working on that Saunders file for 72 hours straight – she hasn't been here to find out about it." Lee sat up and jabbed a finger at him. "Why didn't you stop her? You had the camera on the whole thing – didn't you see her in the monitor?"

"Why didn't you? Oh that's right – you were too busy distracting my trainee with the legendary Stetson charm."

They shared a look of terror at the sound of female footsteps coming at high speed down the hallway towards the office.

"Shhhhhhh," whispered Lee frantically. "The door's locked so if she thinks we're not here…" They watched with wide eyes as the doorknob turned and then, to their horror, they heard the sound of a key being inserted into the lock.

"I thought you said we're safe in here!" hissed Efraim.

"No, I said we're safer, not safe" whispered Lee. They stared at the door and then both heaved a sigh of relief when they recognized Amanda. The relief only lasted a split second before they read the furious expression on her face, and leapt to their feet, speaking at the same time.

"I can explain!"

"You know it wasn't meant for her!"

Amanda was advancing on Lee, finger jabbing in his direction. "How could you? You are a respected senior agent who was supposed to be in control of the operation. How did you let that happen?" She whirled and glared at Efraim. "And you're no better! You were running the camera!"

The two men both seemed to have shrunk in stature since she had barrelled into the room. Lee attempted again to explain.

"Amanda, you know she wasn't the target. Neither of us would ever have done it intentionally – especially him."

"All I know is that Francine is downstairs drenched in fake blood from biting into a donut that _someone_ had hidden a fake blood packet in and then _someone,_ actually two _someones_ were too scared to stick around and take the consequences!"

"So is she mad?" Lee asked, as if he thought she could possibly be otherwise.

"Of course she's mad! It's all over her new dress! A dress she bought especially to wear for her lunch date with _her parents_ today!" Lee and Efraim winced in unison.

"It was meant for Fred," said Lee sadly. "Everyone knows he always grabs the first jelly donut and it was the perfect April Fool's joke until Francine needed a sugar hit."

"I know it was meant for Fred! Everyone knew it was meant for Fred! The _President_ probably knew it was meant for Fred! How come neither of you told Francine not to touch the donuts?"

Both of them hung their heads and stared at their feet. There was a long silence that was finally broken by an odd hiccupping sound. They looked up to stare at the source of the noise, Amanda who was still standing in the middle of the room, but now she had her hand over her mouth and she was shaking.

"Amanda? Are you alright?" asked Lee with concern.

She gave a choking sound and then finally let herself give way to the laughter she'd been trying to hold in. "Oh my gosh, I just remembered what she looked like with the fake blood all over her face like a bad vampire costume and that murderous look in her eye." The two men looked at each other and began to laugh uncontrollably as well.

When they managed to calm down, Lee looked at Amanda with a pleading expression. "What do we do now? She'll kill us if we go back downstairs."

"Well, Lee, you are going to go over to Nordstrom's and get the manager of ladies' fashion department to help you buy the nicest dress you can find for her to wear to lunch. Tell the manager who it's for -she'll know what Francine likes. And you, Efraim are going to go over the DeVaronna store and buy a dozen of their best truffles. You're going for quality, not quantity, ok? She's not going to be any happier with you if she thinks you're trying to make her fat." As the two of them shot out the door to obey her orders, Amanda called them back. "And Efraim? You will destroy the tape of that whole thing or I'll hunt you down myself, do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am!"

And then they ran for their lives.


End file.
